Rules Ruled my Life

When I was seven years old my family left Tosh and all our relatives. Till this day we have only visited them three times in six years. They don't call us unless we do first. I don't really know if I'll ever see them again.


Tosh holds an estimate of 350 families all living in small houses stuck together. Yiddish is the only spoken language,
which is why it is so hard to get a job when you leave. The only thing kids did in school is pray and learn about the religious regulations. Most kids in my class skipped English and French classes because their parents think that it is not important.

TVs, movies, radio, and non holy books are forbidden. Sports are not allowed. No bicycles, no scooters for girls, even driving a car is not okey in many families. Most people are againts Israel and there is even a group of people who fast and mourn on Yom Haatsmaout! Everybody who has already had there Bar/Bat Mitzvah must fast the whole day of Yom Kipur and some parents "practice" with there young children by making them fast for hours at a time. Some mothers even fast when they are pregnant even if their babies get birth defects in the process.

A normal person's day in the cult consists of mostly praying even though they have no idea what they are saying. You have to pray before and after you eat, after going to the bathroom, after waking up, before going to bed...and so on and so forth. Even the person saying Amen has a very big responsibility. He/she must say it at exactly the right moment. A late or early response is worth nothing and then becomes a sin.

Woke up on the wrong side of the bed? Even sleeping has rules for little boys (and of coarse for the older ones). You must sleep on the left side of the bed until midnight and then you have to switch to the right side. Your hands should always stay under the pillow. At three years old my brother was already worried about getting this just right...

Even Shabbat is no day of relief. You are not allowed to cut, color, draw, glue, pick, rip, buy, or use electronics and these are just the basic. Everything associated with these actions and a bunch of other ones therefore become "mookste" meaning you can't touch or use them.

I could go on and on but let me just rap it up this way: they believe that the worse your life is on this world the better it will be in heaven (but I'm seriously doubting you`ll even reach that point with all the sins you`re already committing each second...) The good thing is that this is all behind me now and I can make my own decisions in life and it has taught me how to appreciate every moment of freedom, but sadly that is not the case for my relatives and friends who still endure this stuff.